HIVisms

Quotable quotes, that originated from their point of origins without the influence of Elements. It just happens that this particular assortment of malapropisms happens to be by the residents of H IV.


Bibek
"The moon is falling towards the Earth and the Earth dodges it"

Bibek
"All form of heat is created by infrared rays"
(I guess Microwave ovens also use infrared.....Wanna kill someone rub your hands together n emit infrared towards him to smoke him!!!!!)

Bibek
"The objects color that you see is not its actual color but its complimentary color (white is actually black)....so extending the argument day is not actually day its night"

Bibek
“I knew everything in today’s paper. It totally rocked. Way too easy. Only, there was this small problem. I couldn’t remember any of it on time to write it down.”

Ankur
"Nepal has the best navy in the world"

Ankur
“Vijayawada is a country.”

Ankur
"When sea horse's come out of the water they become horses"

Ankur
"Dolphins grow old to become whales"

Ankur
"Orkut was developed in BIT (R&D bldg) by BIT'ians"

Varun
"Nagaland is India's neighbor"

Varun
"Odomos is a multi purpose cream (sun screen, face cream, toothpaste, hair cream...and not to forget mosquito repellent"

Robin
“You wish.........”

Vyas
“What do you call a person who gives giving fundas?
A fundamentalist... which fundamentalist group do you belong to??”

Harsh (Puppy)
“The frequency of dc is 50Hz.”

Anon
“Tsunami waves were 1000 km tall.”

Bibek
“Light exhibits a dual property, which means it has definite mass. When it passes a black hole light travels with a speed greater than light. Of course it’s true. Don’t you know F=ma?”

Ankur
Dumb Charades Situation - Ankur enacting Shawshank Redemption to Frankie.
He turns to Frankie, starts off: English. 3 words. SHAW SHANK REDEMPTION

Ankur
Dumb Charades Situation - Ankur enacting Frequency.

Jay, Gogin & Smaran
Jay: "Good Friday is on a Thursday man."
Gogin: "how is that possible?"
Jay: "It’s according to the stars or something."
Smaran: "oh yeah, that’s possible man."

Smaran
"Why was the Jessica Lall murder case started after she was murdered?"

Chimpu
“I don’t wanna go to Chilka Lake (Puri) because of the man-eating dolphins.”

Chimpu
(On Gangtok / Darjeeling trip)
“I don’t wanna go to Tiger Hill; there will be too many tigers there.”

Anshul
“Hey, do dolphins come to the beach?”

Chimpu
“Are dolphins man-eaters?”

Jay, Gogin & Smaran
Once, Jay was explaining some kind of situation to Smaran when he said..."Undy was sitting on my left and Gogin on my right." Then confused Smaran asks Jay, "If Undy was sitting on your left and Gogin on your right, Then WHERE WERE YOU SITTING?”

Shrikar
SAT is an IQ test.

Vyas & Ankur
Vyas: Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I’m a schizophrenic,
And so am i.
Ankur: How?

Varun
The reason why Varun cannot say 'r' in any word is, that when he was small all he would do is 'rrrrrrrrrr'. So by the time he grew up he had finished the entire quota of 'r' for his tongue!!!

Vedant & Ranga at Physics Lab
First Question
Prof: Haan CRT ka phull phorm batao..
Ranga: ummm hmmmmmm aaaa hmmmm uummmmm Sir mmm Cupid R.. something
Prof: (bewildered) passes on the question to me.
Ranga 0/5. Vedant 5/5.
Second Question
Prof: Ab LASER ka phull phorm batao..
Ranga: ummm hmmmmmm aaaa hmmmm uummmmm Sir mmmmmmmm Sir I know SONAR... ummm aaaaah but LASER.. ummmmmmm
Prof: (in a daze) passes on the question to me.
Ranga 0/10. Vedant 10/10.

Sujith at Chemistry Lab performance
Scene: 4 Profs seated at the desk and students choosing experiments through lottery.
Sujith's roll number is called out. So our stud walks across the lab and approaches the desk n then sits down in front of the Profs. Then they ask him to choose one experiment. Sujith takes one sheet, cuts out the experiment name and writes his name on it!!
And then when he finally realizes what’s going on. He is in the wrong lab and has no idea where the equipment is.

Jibran & Sujith at Physics Lab Viva
Scene: Prof seated on one side of the desk, Jibran & Sujith on the other.
The 'missionary position' for any viva.
Preface: Jibran & Sujith were told not to tell that they were NRI’s in any viva.
For obvious reasons ;-)
Prof: achcha..toh..(pointing to Jibran)..kahan se ho tum??
Jibran: sir, hum?? hum Patna ke hain!!
Prof: (thinks) "arre bihariiii hai, kuch nahin toh 5 mein se 4 toh mil hi jayega"!
(speaks) achcha..theek hai..(pointing to Sujith)aur tum kahan ke ho?
Sujith: Sir,um? I am frum kerela sir.
Prof: (thinks) "chalo isi des ka hai, kuch hain to 5 mein se 3 to mil hi jayega.
Sujith: (continues suddenly) But sir actually, I did my schooling from 'Our Own English High School, Sharjah’!
Prof: (says some shit but means) " !@!@#!@#$@#%$%#$(%@#($$^)(%*)&*#$)_!!"
Translates to “you are dead meat!”
Result:
Sujith 0/5, Jibran 3.5/5, Although Sujith answered much more!

Robin at Physics Lab
Cast: Robin and some random dude from our batch.
Robin picked up his experiment sheet and confidently walked to his experiment. He had a potentiometer experiment. Surprisingly, Robin gets off to a great start and starts making notes of his readings also!! The random dude walks up to Robin all confused and tells him that it was his experiment. So Robin grabs hold on the dudes sheet reads his experiment name and tells him "Hmm.. No No. Yours is in the other lab. Go fast you don't have much time left to do it. Hmmm go go…" Then for some reason Robin is not getting the answers he has on the chits so he calls the Prof and tells the Prof that the apparatus is faulty. Prof checks and screams at Robin "You fool this is the resonance experiment. Yours is in the other lab."

Zameer, Varun, Akshay & Jibran at Physics Lab
Varun and Zameer had no clue about their laser experiments in the dark room, but they were well prepared. Varun had the whole bunch of the practical sheets tucked in his pants hidden by his t-shirt. So Zameer finishes copying everything and goes out. 5 minutes later, Varun walks out all happy that he finished the experiment, BUT does not realise that he's tucked the practical sheets away while his t-shirt is tucked under it. So the bunch is popping out of his pants for everyone to see. And The Prof sees him.
At exactly this time, Akshay n Jibran are doing their experiments n obviously they have no clue what they are doing. So Akshay manipulates and calls the Prof. But little does he know that the results he reached are not obtainable by any means. So the Prof starts screaming at him. So basically Varun and Akshay are going to get screwed. Then Jibran comes to the rescue. He amazingly manages to blow up the transformer. All the Profs run towards him screaming "YOU FOOL"!

Vyas at some Lab Viva
Pulls out a toothbrush out of his pocket thinking it was a pen to draw a diagram.

Anshuman
PDC Lab Viva
Prof:“Why have you come? The idea of any Viva is I ask you questions and you answer them back. Your answers are full of ummmmmm... aaaaaaa..... oooooooo..... eeeeeeee....
Why have you even come for the Viva ?”
LD Lab viva
The Prof himself was a pretty meek and sober guy. Still, he fianlly ended up saying “Sach sach Batao tum Kaun Sa Subject Padh Ke Aaye ho? What you're saying has nothing to do with LD even by a mile!”
General Lab Viva Tactics
1. Answer exactly the same thing that your other guy is saying
2. Speak so quickly so as to disorient the Prof
3. Smile. Make the Prof comfortable.
4. 'Sorry Sir....' 'It JUST slipped out of mind sir.....' 'Good question sir...... Next question sir...?’
5. Engage in small talk about the Bihar-Jharkhand. Most of them always fall for it.........

Prof Given Names
SP Bhyus for SP Vyas
Subhanshu for Sudhanshu
Jeevan for Jibran
Manpreet for Mandeep
Gameer/Jameer for Zameer
Rubin for Robin

Lab Experiences

E.Mech.
2K2-
All NRI’s walk in. 2 minutes later, they walk out.
Toughest question - How many experiments have you done? Some got even that wrong.

2K3-
Prof: Name one application of Flywheel.
Feroz: (after thinking a whole minute) Sir, Lab sir!

Workshop
Zameer and Ashutosh - Oxygen is the fuel for gas wielding.

DIAC
Vyas - Didn’t know if he should answer the question or laugh at the shocked face of BB Pal when one of them proved 5V = GND.

BEE
Circuit = burnout (both students and circuits)